Last night, being exhausted but not being sleepy, I fell back on my bed, pulled the cover over me, stared into the dark and said, “I do not wish to wrestle with You tonight. I am tired and like men groping for an unknown God, you remain distant from me, and you do not answer my inquiries and you refuse to allow me to find You and in so doing find purpose for my own life, or to help others find purpose in theirs.”
And with that I closed my eyes for a short time. Only to open them again.
Jacob refused to let go of God until he blessed him until he found purpose of which in his case was the changing of his name and his experience allowed him to say, “I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been preserved.” The scripture also says, “You have striven with God and with man and have prevailed.”
Why do we settle for such a limited existence regardless of the cost?
Why do we chide others who would give up all else to have a glimpse of God, to speak to Him and have Him speak back?
Not to offer up chants and mantras as christians and non-christians do alike.
Regardless of the cost I would rather understand the intent of the Scriptures, the reach of the cross, the cost of His suffering and discover the purpose of my existence than to be the happiest christian in the world.
Why would you strive for anything less?