“John, This really intrigued me. I am lucky to have a wife who has stood beside me and supported me when I needed it most.
How long have you been / were you married? 14 years. 6/6/98 till now. 4 kids.
What was the biggest challenge you had to / having to overcome? Money and success. Money issues brought their own struggles but success brought others as well. Infidelity on my part, too much travel, drinking, etc.
What advice would you give to others? Your wife/husband is to be your closest accountability partner. If you feel you can’t tell them about it later. DON’T DO IT!!!”
Wow!! Talk about a gut wrenching way to open this series on marriage and the state of covenant in this country.
For the last week I have been pressing myself hard to find those things in my life which are sacred and looking at Biblical application as to why God puts otherwise “good things” in our lives and tells us not to touch them. And just as a reminder, things that God puts into our life and tells us not to touch them are not always centered around the opposite sex, the same sex or anything sexual at all. The first one God established was the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. So don’t let yourself off the hook too easy just because you have been faithful for oh so long. Have you? In all ways?
A ground rule. I don’t give out marriage advice, never have. Twenty six years of marriage does not make one a counselor. Eighty six years maybe, but not twenty six.
My sole purpose in this series is to make those who read this blog to know they are not alone. The responses I received were many, way more than I thought I would receive. Especially since I sent this out on a Saturday. My phone pinged all day long.
And from who? Husbands, wives, former husbands and wives, multiple husbands and wives as in more than once. Newer marriages, older marriages, across the board marriages.
My personal comments will be to encourage. And any responses received to the blog may be shared as well.
Okay…and with no editing and no names.
How about this one?
“Ouch…okay…Here goes. 2.5 years in marriage. Alcohol and prescription drug abuse and infidelity. Advice? Let God take the lead in choosing your mate. If you take the lead, your criteria won’t often get past physical attraction. God’s path will take everything into account inside and out.”
Another one?
“Married thirty eight years. Biggest challenge was the financial obligations after the birth of our daughter. Advice? Rekindle the fire of your romance with time spent together.”
Another one?
“Five years. Not being selfish, and to put my husband first. For both a husband and wife to do all that they can to please and make the other happy. Working hard to meet your spouses needs.”
Interesting perspectives all of these. So far, 50% have included a reference to infidelity.
Gut honest? I am as human as the next person. We all live with passions and passion for life. People without passion God can not use. And at times, some Christians live with an even higher level of passion for life and for God’s call upon their life. That is not an excuse for inappropriate behaivor however. Those who are religious save the, “Well as we get closer to God it takes us away from the temptations in life whether they be faithfulness, pride, idolatry in a number of ways, etc.”
And for those type people, there was a man, let me see…his name escapes me at the moment…ah yes, King David, “a man after God’s own heart.” Very passionate man toward God and life and obviously women.
I was thinking today, where did David mess up with Bathsheba. Was it that she was beautiful? No. Was it that she was attainable for him as the king even though she was married? No. He wasn’t where he was supposed to be. It was the spring and the armies had gone out to war as they did in the spring, and David, their leader had remained behind. Bottom line. He wasn’t where he was supposed to be. Bad things happen when you aren’t where you are supposed to be.
Tomorrow, we will continue on and look into the lives of some who have made some mistakes and they are willing to share it.
So, be encouraged, you are not the only one struggling. We all are. It is a battle to the death for the enemy of God and toward the family.
Also, tomorrow, I will offer a pretty transparent look into my own marriage and how I thought it was falling apart just within the past year and a half.
Again, be encouraged.
JHH
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