He kept referring to them as episodes. And I could relate.
Though mine were different I could hear the futility to understand what they meant and where they came from in his voice.
All I really wanted to do was get to know him better, to understand more completely his story, what made him who he is.
I asked permission to play around inside his brain and off we went. And this is what it looks like inside the mind of a genius level type brain. (His not mind)
First of all, it never shuts off. Imagine your mind racing all the time, like John Nash depicted in A Beautiful Mind.
His biological father was never part of the scene. Though he knew his father was in the state of Georgia he knew not where. His mother and he were alone.
Then when he was young a boyfriend of his mothers shot her in the head. Somehow she survived and after many years you probably would not recognize any lingering effect.
His grandfather becomes the closest thing to a father figure in his life and he loves his grandfather dearly.
Then he goes into the military. Imagine, if you can, I could not, but imagine what it feels like for a military officer to come to you and tell you that your grandfather is dead. And that he took his own life.
The he leaves the military and begins a strong dependency on alcohol to numb the pain.
Though he grew up in church, he had not been in some time, and now, anger issues, little positive reinforcement and thoughts of taking his own life became a consistent reminder of his pain.
And he was at a very low point contemplating how to resolve his pain when a friend called and said, “Hey, a church group I go to is having something tonight. Wanna go to a cookout?”
And he did. And his reintroduction to God began to take hold.
We just never know. We never know that when we invite someone to something as innocent as a cookout, that people all around us want to be included and not judged.
What if his friend had not asked? What would have happened then?
And yet, we are around people every day that are hurting, looking for answers, looking for wounds to be healed.
We pray so earnestly, “O God, send people into my life that I can tell them of your way.”
They are already there. God has already sent them.
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born from adversity.” Proverbs 17:17
Thank goodness his friend invited him to the cookout.
Be a friend who loves at all times.