John Hembree

It was and remains one of the nastiest things I have ever put in my mouth.

It was a concoction of different vegetables and juices my mom would put in a blender and force me to drink.  It had to be some form of child abuse.  It was that bad.

But you know that?  As a child I was rarely sick, and even today, many years later, I am still rarely sick.

So…there must be something to be said about things that taste bad but that are good for you.  The extended benefit far exceeds the temporary challenge just to try and swallow it.

So this has got me “thanking”.   The verse in the Bible which says, “O taste and see that the LORD is good; How blessed is the man who take refuge in Him!”  Psalm 34:8   Now how would you know if something is good but to try it.  You can take someone else’s word for it but until you try it yourself then you will not truly know.

It is also interesting that the parts of the body what allow one to taste and differentiate between good  and not good is the mouth, the tongue, all the parts of the body that can experience so many good things but can also absolutely spew out so many horrible things toward God and toward other people.

So, let me throw an odd thought toward you.  Real odd.

We as Christians know that the body of Christ was broken so that we might partake of his power of his salvation and in his healing.  In communion we in symbolic memory eat of his body and drink of his blood.   Here’s the odd thought.  If someone took a bite out of you, how would you taste?  We eat of Christ’s body and we find it to be healing, able to bring us from a dark, dark place of sin.  But it tastes good, everything about his body and blood tastes good, because it was intended to ultimately bring about goodness.

So, if we are to be representatives of Christ and His body, again, if someone broke off a part of you and tasted it, as a Christian, how would you taste?  Would you be of such character that you would also bring about healing through Christ?  Or would you taste so awful that no one would want to try you nor Christ again.

For tomorrow, I am going to work to be that person that if someone were to break off a piece of me and taste, hopefully all they would see and taste and recognize would be Christ.

JHH

I read a survey though I can not recall where at the moment, that when asked what they missed most, the elderly surveyed across the board did not miss a deceased spouse or days gone by or better health. Above all else, they missed the human touch. As people get older they are touched less though the need for physical touch is still there.

Human touch is so important. It can calm, it can soothe, it certainly can heal. When I run into nursing students I always encourage them to touch their patients. It connects two people in such a strong bond.

Christ himself knew this, he was often touching someone to bring them healing. One in particular was the lady who had been bleeding for years. She crawled through the growing and shoving crowd who were all around Jesus. Somehow she crawled through the crowd and touched just the hem of his garment. But when she did, Christ stopped and said, “Who touched me? Power has gone out from my body.” It was her.

And even with people all around him pushing and shoving Christ was able to distinguish that single touch.

Another verse says, “and they implored Him that they might just touch the fringe of His cloak; and as many as touched it were cured.”  Matthew 14:36

I am not saying our clothes are filled with healing as was the clothing of Jesus.  He was at a whole nother level as they say.  But the touch we offer and the touch we receive does have an exchange of strength.

Tomorrow, let me encourage you to go throughout the day with a new look on touch. A tug, a push, a nudge, a hug, a hand that is held, all powerful examples of touching.

And especially, if you come in contact with an elderly person tomorrow, make a special effort to touch them, to take their hand in yours, to do whatever it takes for them to feel accepted and normal again, as a physical human being.

Try it and watch someone light up. I did it just yesterday and what a difference it made.

JHH

I can not get away from this word “passion”. It is everywhere around me. And I am okay with it.

This morning, taking our fifteen year to school, I was praying as we always do in the car, for the day. I found myself praying for God to allow me and help me to squeeze every ounce out of this day. And as I said it, I was squeezing my right fist as tight as I could as though sqeezing every drop from this day.

Keep this verse in mind as you go about this day but also each day.

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.” Ecclesiastes 9:10

Love with all your might, live with all your might.

By the end of the day I hope you find yourself completely drained of you because you have given it all away.

It is possible to do this. Passionate people do this.

Let this be your day to be a passionate person.

Squeeze every drop out of this day.

JHH

I am taking the night off. However, I am working on a piece that deals with gifts and our greatest strength and our greatest weakness. I believe it is often the same gift and the battle becomes a matter of what we do with it. Rahab the Harlot saves Joshua and is in turn saved by Joshua goes on to be in the bloodline of the Messiah. Samson, King David, Peter, Paul, their greatest strength was their greatest weakness.

In the meantime here is an entry from way back. It allows me to let God be God.

“What we need in the hour of trial, and what we should seek by earnest prayer, is confidence in Him who sees the end from the beginning and doeth all things well.”

Who sees the end from the beginning and even before the day of our birth?

Who could do that?

And in the middle, between the beginning and the end they could lay out our lives and see everything in the middle, even design the events to happen.

Certainly, this quote is thought provoking, inspiring and most definitely from a literary classic.

How about this one?

“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?

Also thought provoking, inspiring and most definitely from a literary classic.

The last quote. An insightful view of how our present culture looks. Everything that is, isn’t. And what it is, it wouldn’t be.

As spoken by The Mad Hatter in Lewis Carroll’s classic, Alice in Wonderland.

The first thought? That quote is from the eulogy for young Willie Lincoln, son of Abraham Lincoln, as written and spoken by Dr. Phineas Gurley.

God sees the day of our death from the day of our birth and in between those two events…doeth all things well.

JHH

In my life, God often shows up in the strangest places. While riding a horse, while in a sauna and now, in the outfield grass.

This past Friday evening, (and I wrote a little about this previously), before a softball game and members of the team I play with were taking batting practice…as they were, Brady Howard, a Pastor at our church, and I were standing in the outfield catching fly balls, that kind of thing. We were talking about anything and everything. We were somewhere near left center field when I said, “Brady, I would love to be part of a group of people that could sit in a room, in a circle, and each one of them go around and confess their deepest, darkest secrets and sins that they had never voiced before, and then after everyone had gone, every person in that room would have no memory of what had happened or what had been said, but each person in that room would be whole and complete.” His response? “I could not do that if I was the only person in the room.” And that is where I heard God in left center field. Oddly, his voice sounded just like Bradys.

Last evening Brady sent me an additional text which included the following, “Can’t stop thinking about that line; sitting in a room all by myself and I’m too scared to confess my own sins so that I have to hear the words coming out of my own mouth. But isn’t that what true repentance should look like? As we come before Christ broken, humble, admitting our weaknesses and our constant need of grace.”

Our… constant… need… of… grace. How beautifully worded. Our constant need of grace. That one has gotten stuck inside of me.

Paul gave a great insight into his own introspective look at his own sin. In I Timothy 1:15-16 Paul calls himself “the foremost of all sinners” twice. The passage says that, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all. And yet for this reason I found mercy…”

This will take some some gut wrenching honesty but I would encourage and challenge you to find a room where you are all alone and confess those things “out loud” that you have needed to for a very long time. For God to hear, but more important, for you to hear God hear them.

I am going to do this as soon as this is written.

What will come out of it? A cleansed soul, a confessed life and an opportunity to go into a new week with the same outlook Paul had, “and for this reason I found mercy…”

Thank you Brady. This thought has pressed me to new levels of self awareness of my own humanity and how, whether I believe it or not, God can use my humantiy for His purposes.

JHH

Okay, this is going to be the final post on Passion and Marriage. However, these responses came in today from two females and I thought it really tied the week together.

Forgive me for the indulgence. And the expression of thank you made is really not for me, though I accept it and humbled by it. This topic was suggested by Georgia Hill a couple of months ago. At first, I was hesitant because so many marriage topics end up syrupy and sugary but are not often where people are in fighting to save their marriage. So thank you to Georgia Hill for the suggestion of the topic.

Here is the feedback received earlier today.

“I have enjoyed your blogs on marriage…I agree with all that has been said, and all the advice given from your survey participants. Like you say, we all KNOW what we should do, the problem comes in “DOING” it. As long as we live in this fleshly body we will struggle with wanting what’s best for self. The only way to truly live a happily every after life is to live it every day totally in submission to God and try to let the Spirit be more in control than the flesh – and that is easier said than done. But – it can be done. Love is a choice. To continue loving is a choice. Choose love – that’s what these blogs say to me. Choose to give of yourself. We will reap what we sow, if we give love, we will reap love. If we give nothing, we get nothing. Thanks for making us all think.”

“Worked for a friend yesterday shampooing for her…watched an older man wheel in his wife, an extrememly tired older lady who just went through surgery having a road put through her femur bone and her knee cap taken out. Watched him pick her up in and out of the wheel chair to get in and out of the car, he talked about bathing her, learning how to do laundry for the first time, cooking, etc. Anyways as I watched all this so much ran through my mind…It’s not about money, jobs, cars, age or success. It’s about love and at the end of my life I hope that I will still have that love and someone to take care of me or I hope I can be that somone! Also I spoke with another older lady who got married at 17 and after 50/60 years of marriage her and her husband are still together and she said its because God being in their relationship all the years and every Friday night her and her husband have a date night.

Well, I would have looked right past all of this without your blogs and all you’ve been writing about.”

An interesting week to say the least.

JHH

I thought I would wrap up the survey series today. Not all results could be used as to the fact that I received so many. I was surprised as to how many people responded. A friend of mine had suggested this topic some time back and I had delayed on it. Obviously she was right and I was wrong.

So, I will place a few more results up top and end with a personal note and that will be that. Thank you to each of you who sent in your opinion.

“Almost 11 years. Challenges? The death of my mother-in-law six months before we were married, severe depression and intimacy issues. Advice? Seek the Holy Spirit for the words to say and for peace when none can be found otherwise.”

“Well, if you do not count the nine months we were divorced when our children were young we have been married 24 years. Advice? Never ever let divorce be an option. Do not allow a quit option and keep God in the middle.”

Last one. This marriage was challenged by something none could have foreseen, the passing of a wife. I am leaving her name in because she was a real person and has left a real memory and continues to leave real impressions.

“Janet and I were married for 17 years, 2 months and 1 week. The responsibility for another persons happiness and care. To make sure you are in love. If in your minds eye there is any selfish or self gratifying reason you want to be with the person it’s not love. Love is self sacrificing for that one person, their needs before yours. You would give anything and everything for that person even your life, that’s love.”

And with that response, I will add only a few comments.

Since last Saturday and putting out the survey question it has been an interesting week. I have found myself in unfamiliar territory. This survey question pushed me, prodded me, probed me and at times I was disappointed in myself.

This week I have found myself to be both heroic and hypocrtical, both strong and weak, both compassionate and with no compassion at all in writing Groveling, Slobbering Dogs.

Last night I was standing in the outfield grass along with Brady Howard, a pastor at our church. He and I are very close personally, but he also dates our oldest daughter. As batting practice was going on before the game we were discussing relationships. The complexity, the challenges, the highs, the lows. At one point, somewhere near the right field foul line I asked him, “Brady, why do more pastors not stand before the congregations and say, “My gosh, we all have problems. All of our marriages are in trouble if not for the grace of God. But I am standing before you, warts and all. Now, lets try to figure this thing out called relationships and marriage.”

As the Facebook status says, “Its Complicated”. You know what? It is, by golly complicated.

So, I have learned much this week. But I have learned that in spite of the warts I have, God’s love…it never fails, it never runs out on me and it goes on and on and on and on.

I can be strong in that.

JHH

Yesterday’s entry was fun to write. I actually had toned it down a bit before I sent it out.

A few responses.

“Wowza!”

“Mr. John, what were you trying to say in that?” (If they started the sentence with Mr. John, they probably should not have been reading it.}

My friend Kendall Cameron said, “I know you pretty well. Who are you calling a grovelling, slobbering dog and what kind of place did yesterday’s piece on passion come from?”

One of my favorites came from my bride, who by the way, NEVER reads the blog, never. For fun, I faxed it to her yesterday, yes faxed it, I know, but faxed it. I called her later in the afternoon and asked her if she had read it. She said, “It was good, but, I thought it was a little nastee.” Now coming from this woman I found that funny.

By the way, speaking of being attracted to the opposite sex, which we weren’t, but are now. This goes along with passion. For some reason in my life, dating and marriage, I have been drawn to women who have certain passions and who like men. Not in a bad way, it’s just that they are aware that men are upon the earth. That is still the case. Doty has been quoted as saying, “Look, God intended us to enjoy beautiful things, He put men on the earth, I am enjoying looking at his creation.”

I myself on the other hand, in 26 years of marriage and 5 years of dating have admitted only twice that a woman other than her did I think was pretty. I usually avoided the question. There have only been two that I confessed of. (That sounds so stupid. Doty runs off names of men like water, I admit two.) One was Amy Grant and when I said it, I blushed.

I remember back in 1996 we went to an Olympic event and Doty and I were walking around the stadium. We passed by three City of Atlanta firefighters in their jump suits. The woman’s head about twisted off her neck when they passed. She looks at me and says, “Did you see that? Were they not beautiful?” Not being attracted to men I acknowledged where I thought she might find them attractive. And she did.

Fortunately, I am not the jealous type.

By the way, for those who are of the jealous type, allow me to clue you in on something. Men, you are not the only good looking guy God had blessed the earth with. And ladies, relax, yes, there are others who are also pretty.

But to end this morning with scripture I thought I would still stay on the theme of passion.

“My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing and make music with all my soul.” Psalm 108:1

All my soul David wrote.

What you do today, whatever it is, do that which you do, with all your soul.

JHH

I will waste no time getting into this. Here is a bulk of the survey results.

“Married seven years. (Was) Pride has no place in a relationship. alwasy think of your partner first…they should be your priority…if you both do this ou shoud be able to oversome anything. So even if one of you falter or have a bad spell…your relationship should be strong enough to oversome these times.”

“42 years. Learning as a team, that God intended for us to compliment one another.”

“Have been married 11 years financial struggles an dloss of a child during pregnancy. Take each experience as it comes keep communication open and always forgive.”

“Coming up on 13 years. Trying to realize that its not about me. If you think marriages is 50/50 ur wrong. U have to give 100% because ur spouse isn’t always going to “pull their fair share: in your eyes. And guess what, u don’t always pull ur fair share in their eyes.”

“Sixteen years. Learning to live with your spouse 24/7. This is the biggst challenge for military reproof!! Learning to live together is biggest challenge. As we get older we change and the challenge starts over. Mid-life crisis, etc.”

In the morning, more survey results.

JHH

Or 16 if you are mature.

I love passionate people!!!

Passionate people are passionate in the board room, in the bed room,, in the prayer room and in the sanctuary.

God loves passionate people!!!

They are born that way, God made them that way.

I have talked to people recently since this series began and they have told me they have always, even as children, been passionate people. And they acknowledge it is both their greatest strength and their greatest weakness.

It is who they are.

When you come across passionate people, please do not try to change them, but ask God to make you more like them.

We are sexual creatures. Admit it, you are. We were created that way. If that concerns you for some reason, blame God, not the media.

For example, when God created man and then the woman He said, “the man shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” If you can not figure that out, then there are multiple books at Barnes and Noble that can assist you.

Today, let passion run wild. Don’t run from it. RUN TOWARD IT!

Find a new sense of passion, so that God might channel it and use it for his purposes.

Passion is contagious.

Surprise your spouse with some new found passion. Yes, it will throw them off and they will wonder, “where have they been and with who?!” But the results will be wonderful.

My gosh, stir up your passion!

Where to start? I always like to start in literature. Especially the older written literature. Those people could write and they were not scared of passion.

So take some of the following phrases and work them into a note or conversation and see if your husband or wife notices. They will, trust me.

“May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.”

“Let his left hand be under her head, and his right hand embrace me.” (If I gotta explain whats go on in that one you should probably not try this exercise. But the clue is that the female is thinking what she would like for her male lover to do. I know. Scandalous)

“On my bed night after night I sought him whom my soul loves.” (Whom my soul loves, I love that line and have just broken a sweat while writing.)

“You have made my heart beat faster with a single glance of your eyes.”

“His mouth is full of sweetness, and he is wholly desirable.” (Ladies, breathe…breathe…)

Here are some key words to work in as well. Men take note.

“How beautiful are your feet, the curves of your hips, the work of your hands, your navel, your belly, your two breasts, your neck your eyes and the fragrance of your breath.”

Oh my! Should I stop? I think not.

“It goes down smoothly for my beloved, flowing gentyly through the lips of those who fall asleep.”

Holy cow, I can not even focus.

This thing called passion.

Oh, just in case you want more sample phrasing the literature work I took these phrases from is an old, old classic.

In fact, you can find it anywhere.

They are from the Bible, specifically the Song of Solomon.

Talk to God, not me, I didn’t write it, God did.

So there must be something about this passion stuff.

In fact, Song of Solomon is so racy if you will, that during the Middle Ages, before the invention of the printing press, monks used to fight to be the one to copy this book. Now that’s interesting.

So today, stir up your passion. If you have none, ask God to give you some. For it is my personal and humble opinion that God would rather channel an overtly passionate person for His work and for His glory than try to work with someone so void of passion that no one wants what they have anyway.

And to those passionate people out there who long to use their passion for good and for God of which I am one of those, God knows our heart and will use it for His intentions.

JHH